You know how people often say that kids teach you a lot? Well, turns out that it’s true. I’m not sure they meant what I’m about to say though. I learnt something from my little boy’s T-shirt the other day. Have a look:
Yes, I’d bought this cute little T-shirt thinking that it’d be sweet to show the world what I think of him – that he’s Mr Perfect. But the universe, a slightly oversized T-shirt, his squirminess and one letter hiding under the armpit all combined to make him Mr Erfect instead. And that’s what reminded me: it’s okay to be erfect. Perfect is a lovely goal to have but it is pretty damn hard to achieve.
If you’re a regular reader here you might think I’m sounding like a broken record, and you might be slapping your forehead and saying “Amanda! You know this already! You’ve said this already!” but the fact is, I still have two draft novels sitting there, slyly being slipped into the odd contest here and there but otherwise sitting there, languishing, because I don’t really believe I can make them perfect enough to send to an agent.
And that’s the key difference, and the thing that Mr Erfect really brought home to me the other day. Sending a novel in to a contest says “This is the best draft I could produce before the closing date of the contest.” Sending a novel or a query for a novel to an agent (or indeed a publishing house if you’re so inclined) says “This is the absolute best version of this novel I know how to produce.” There’s a huge difference between these two thoughts, right?
Mr Erfect seems to be suggesting that I need to adjust this second thought a little bit. There is probably never an absolute best version of a novel to be had. I have found myself re-editing bits of my novels – the first chapter of Bratislava, for example, has been edited half to death – and feeling quite certain that I’m changing some stuff back to how it used to be, and basically just going round in circles with my thinking for what is the perfect way to say something. And I’m still not happy with it!
If you have struggled with perfectionism, letting go and the thought that agents or editors might laugh at your attempts at a novel (yes I honestly think that!) then please let me know what you’ve done to deal with it. I’m at the point where I can see the need to be erfect instead of perfect, but I don’t quite know how to draw that line in the editing process.
Yes! Erfect! Send to agents! Because you know what else? If you see ERFECT, what does it make you think?
PERFECT
Maybe it’s not 100% of the way there yet, but you can recognize its potential, what it should and could be. That’s what agents do too! They pick the ERFECT up out of the slush pile and help you add that last P.
Don’t be afraid! Be brave, and be erfect! It’s the only way to get to perfect.
.-= Kristan´s last blog ..Dreams =-.
Amanda, I used to have the very same problem as you. I recently spent six months on a novel that ultimately ended up in the (mental) garbage can because of a felt need to make it perfect.
Then I read some interesting stuff in Dean Wesley Smith’s article series “Killing the Sacred Cows of Publishing.” Here’s a piece on the “myth” of re-writing:
http://www.deanwesleysmith.com/?p=329
Suffice it to say, after reading this a few months ago I stopped re-writing my fiction to death, and started finishing it and submitting it. There’s just no other way to become a writer!
Good luck with your projects!
-bn
@ Kristan, as always, you’re very encouraging! Perhaps you were a motivational speaker in a previous life
I am definitely going to be happy with erfect from now on.
@ Ben, that link is fantastic! Thanks so much. It really is giving me the kick in the bottom I need to get things out there where people could buy them rather than stuck on my hard drive where nobody can see them. Really, thank you!
Hi Amanda,
Just stumbled across your blog while…um…googling procrastination.
I’m in a similar situation to you as I have a young child (and another on the way) and wanted to let you know that it is possible (though certainly far from easy!) to combine writing with children. After dabbling for years and getting one novel to the almost-but-not-quite-there stage (where it’s still languishing four years later) I started a new novel in late 2008/early 2009. My daughter was eighteen months old, I had less free time than I’d ever had before, but I really, really wanted to finish this book. And I did it. And I tweaked it, sent it out to trusted readers, fixed things, got a few more people to read it, fixed a few more things…then sent it out over the course of a couple of months to over 20 agents in Australia and the US. I’m now in discussions with an agent about representation, which is a dream come true – and for a novel which was only a glimmer of an idea two years ago.
Just finishing the damned thing was incredibly liberating, and made me feel like a different person. A ‘serious and committed’ writer rather than a ‘dabbler’. If you want it badly enough it can happen, children or no children.
Have faith in yourself, and don’t be afraid to dream the dream, write the book, then SUBMIT.
Adina,
I’m a little bit sorry you found me while googling procrastination (for both of us!) but am very pleased to hear your story. So far my bub has got to 5.5 months and I’ve written very, very few fiction words in his lifetime … but I am getting towards the “really, really want to finish” stage so hopefully your tale will inspire me to believe it is actually possible to get writing and revising …
Had a look at your blog, too, v interesting, will keep an eye on it! Thanks again!
[...] readers will remember I recently decided it was okay to be erfect – or in other words, not quite perfect. Well, lately I’ve been doing even better than [...]
Mr Erfect is gorgeous, Amanda!
Thanks Amanda, we rather like our little Mr Erfect too! (well not quite so little, he’s certainly outgrown his Erfect T-shirt by now …)